It's Rita Time! Ole'!

I miss the days of threatening hurricane names. Katrina, Ophelia, and last year’s Frances? Maybe they are running out of creative names but lately it seems the weather service is doing the exact opposite instead of picking names that sound like the equivalent of the devastating force these storms have. Remember Hugo, Agnes or even Fran from 1996. Fran could be the mean lunch lady at your day school…. “You want fries with that?” “Too bad you didn’t say please! Next!"... I can picture Hugo as the guy that use to steal my lunch money after beating me over the head with my own backpack. That name just sounds like big, dumb, trouble.

Naming a hurricane something that instills a little fear upon hearing it causes people to atleast subconsciously take it more seriously. Ivan is that geeky guy in highschool who spend most of his time in the chemistry lab for fun while a name like Brutus or Jake reminds you of that scary neighborhood dog you pray is tied up when you get off the bus after school.

So my suggestion’s for new hurricane names? How about Bin Laden or Adolph? Right there I know it is going to be scary and I should get the heck out of it’s path because nothing good can come of it. Too harsh? Try Martha or Donald…these two are over exposed and each have their own TV. shows. They’re just plain annoying. Why would you want to be around for anything relating to them? Move over Hurricane Opal, Bertha should be stepping in.

Now we are facing Rita. I new a girl named Rita in undergrad. She lived in my dorm and was a party girl. While she did drink too much and got pretty obnoxious, a gentle wind could knock this girl over. She was tiny. I guess on the other hand if you consider the origins of the name you could go with the stereotype. What is threatening about a mariachi bank? I guess the water and food can get scary in Mexico so in that sense maybe.

**Sorry if this entry offends anyone named Rita, Frances or Ivan, but in all honesty you got to know what I’m talking about for having had to put up with your own name all your life.