St Johns: a city that is in no way like the island

I was in St. Johns on business and thought I would wander around and find my Aunt who was allegedly getting married there today. Never ran into her or her fiancé which surprised me because the population of that city is like 50 people…alright, alright, it just seems that way.

Of course she is down in the Caribbean. Good thing too. Though I have nothing against John Deere, I don’t think riding off into the sunset on an old tractor with a “Just Married” sign would be her scene. Give me an island in the sun any day! Hope they enjoy the vacation abroad.

Congradulations Jeannette and Greg!

George Sticks His Foot In His Mouth

President Bush: Peter. Are you going to ask that question with shades on?

Peter Wallsten of the Los Angeles Times: I can take them off.

Bush: I'm interested in the shade look, seriously.

Wallsten: All right, I'll keep it, then.

Bush: For the viewers, there's no sun.

Wallsten: I guess it depends on your perspective.

Bush: Touché.

—Exchange with legally blind reporter Peter Wallsten, to whom Bush later apologized, Washington, D.C., June 14, 2006

Oh well!

My dreams of being a professional Paper, Rock, Scissors Champ went up in smoke today while I was practicing with the neighbor kids in the stairwell. The agony of defeat was realized when I went zero for five.

Instead of going home to cry (which I did later) I dazzled them by whistling a tune. They can’t whistle and I refused to show them because I figure they could learn to be a little more humble.

Is this worth reporting?

Click the title.

Paper, Rock, Scissors is not just for the playground any more.

This is either the most colossal waste of time or an awsome game. It reminds me of trick bowling but it requires no skill and an aptitude for probability. These people take it seriously...see the below quotes from this article.

'Bissett, 21, used some unorthodox techniques on his way to earning the title. In the semifinals, he threw a triple-paper, confusing his opponent. A throw of rock in the finals earned him the title and the trip.'

'"His rock’s getting solid, we’re working on his scissors," Bentley said.'

The best part is this guy got served by a six year old girl. Burn! Oh this makes me laugh.



P.S. Mom, I decided what I want to do with my life.

25 Ain't No Jive!

Today is my younger brother’s birthday. I have to say “younger” instead of “little” obviously, as you can see…I got nothing! Such is life! He turns the big 25 today.

Back in MI

Ah Idaho...I shall miss you. While you all were dealing with record high temperatures, here is a sample of where I was. Yes, that is in fact snow! Pretty awesome!

The Great Outdoors

Hey all! Not much time to write. Heading up into the mountains for camping, hiking, fishing, ......running from bears.........Anyway, here are a few pics from yesterday's adventures through Boise!

To Idaho I Go!

"Esto Perpetua" means "It is perpetual." That is the motto of this state I am going to visit over Memorial Day weekend. Does that mean the state never changes or is this a reference to it's people? Hmmmm... yeah, a loaded question, but before I go deep I compiled some fun facts. Perhaps you will learn something.

Potatoes! I am a fan and read the labels of the food I eat. I found a link to a website that just concentrates on famous Idaho Potato recipes. Pretty sweet or rather starchy!

(okay bad joke...moving on)

Idaho also boasts high yields of trout, Austria Winter Peas and Lentils. Love the trout, hate the peas, and lentils? well, my mom likes 'em so that's 2 out of 3.

Idaho is the 13th largest state with a river system that travels 3,100 miles (more than any other state). This of course means that fly fishing and hunting is really big....I am picturing the movie "A River Runs Through It" right now. Though that movie takes place in Montana and Brad Pitt does not actually live there, putting him in the mental image doesn't hurt though.

The Land: This is from the state website that says it better than I could.

"The panhandle is emerald green hillsides, timbered mountains and sprinkled with lakes of all sizes. Central Idaho is covered with jagged peaks. The Snake River Plain, with its wide open vistas, irrigated farm lands and vibrant cities forms the character of Southern Idaho.
Idaho’s history lies with its native tribes, the Lewis and Clark Expedition and determined pioneers on the Oregon Trail."

Abundant outdoor recreation opportunities attract over 20 million tourists annually. Idaho is the home of Sun Valley, created in 1936, and America's first ski resort!

Idaho is know as "the gem state" for it's 72 precious and semi-precious gem stones which can be found no where else in the world.

Below are some facts I've never come accross before when hearing about a state.

The State Horse: Appaloosa ......it's a type of horse, not a concert!

The State Dance: Square Dance

....dosey-do ......
and swing your partner round the rest, head back home and promanade left..........

yes in another life I was a dance caller, alls I'm saying.]

The News:

The governor and the department of natural resources is currently suing the Federal Government for the EPA's program of releasing grizzly bears into central Idaho. This is an effort by the Federal Government to protect and increase a population that is on the endagered species list, but the state is less than thrill to comply. I plan on camping while I am out there but I'm not worries since my brother-in-law is a gun enthisuast. No offense EPA!

Well that's all for now. Hope you learned something.

The Idaho State Song....who knew!

Here we Have Idaho

Official State Song by Enactment of Twenty-first Session of Idaho Legislature
Verses by Albert J.Tompkins

Chorus by McKinley Helm

Music by Sallie Hume-Douglas'

Arranged by Craig Chernos

Download this song in Mp3 format

You’ve heard of the wonders our land does possess,

Its beautiful valleys and hills.

The majestic forests where nature abounds,

We love every nook and rill

Chorus:
And here we have Idaho,

Winning her way to fame.

Silver and gold in the sunlight blaze,

And romance lies in her name.

Singing, we’re singing of you,

Ah, proudly too. All our lives thru,

We’ll go singing, singing of you,

Singing of Idaho.

There’s truly one state in this great land of ours,

Where ideals can be realized.

The pioneers made it so for you and me,

A legacy we’ll always prize.

Chorus:
And here we have Idaho,

Winning her way to fame.

Silver and gold in the sunlight blaze,

And romance lies in her name.

Singing, we’re singing of you,

Ah, proudly too. All our lives thru,

We’ll go singing, singing of you,

Singing of Idaho.

http://gov.idaho.gov/fyi/song/index.htm

Where Would We Be Without Our Moms?

Yes, that is a loaded question. I can only speak for myself since I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting these women who have sat at home waiting on the second weekend in May every year for you to call and congratulate them on bringing you into the world and surviving you for an “x” number of years. While Mother’s Day is a good excuse to go for a buffet dinner or give her the overly glittered picture frame you made in your third grade art class, the reason President Woodrow Wilson designated the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day in 1914 was to recognize these women and be sure not to let them be taken for granted.

Years ago on a Mother’s Day, I was awake early watching my mom eat the pancakes we made, even though they tasted funny because at our age we didn’t determine that there is a difference between baking soda and baking powder. She told us that Mother’s Day mattered little to her because she already knew we loved her and we didn’t need to go to such measures and get her gifts. Therefore in her explanation, everyday was Mother’s Day. I’m sure it was meant, but realistically I think it was partially intended to keep my brother out of the baking cabinet for a few more years until he could read recipes properly! Anyway, I imagined that in her ideal world where every day was Mother’s Day, her four children all under the age of five would always behave like little angels. Therefore Mother’s Day must be a solid attempt by the rest of the family to give our mom a glimpse of that unlikely Utopia.

Have you ever read the children’s book “Are you My Mother?” written by P.D. Eastman? It’s about a young bird that hatches while his mother is out looking for food. He falls out of the nest and goes on a journey meeting many diverse characters to whom he poses the question “are you my mother?” Eventually he finds his way home, where his life finally makes sense and falls asleep under his mother’s wing. It is a story of belonging and recognizes the special bond that can only exist between a parent and a child. As we grow and discover our identity it is innate that we first turn to our parents for acceptance. They are the ‘I love you no matter what’ constants by whom we are able to find our footing especially during the tough times.

At times I swore I was adopted or my mom came from another universe. Even as a grown woman I sometimes find we don’t speak the same language but behind any misunderstanding or disagreement is always good intention. I try not to limit my appreciation to a single day. I also keep in mind what my mom gave up in order to raise my brothers, sister and I, and that I never once heard her speak of regret or complain about her choices. During my upbringing, every day wasn’t a page out of the “Walton’s” or "Ozzie and Harriet" land, but I was always loved and cared for. And though my mother was never officially awarded “Mom of the Year” she always has been in my book.

To the most beautiful woman in the world! Happy Mother's Day!

Below are a few quotes that I love. Feel free to use them on your Mother’s Day card! I plan to!

Home is where your mom is!

A mother understands what a child does not say. –a Jewish proverb

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother. –Abraham Lincoln

It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. –Barbara Kingsolver

Anyone who doesn't miss the past never had a mother.

Richer than Gold

You may have fortunes untold
Mountains of riches and coffers of gold
Richer than I you will never be
I had a mother who read to me

Art's...Need I Say More?

Art’s Bar is a friendly establishment in downtown off of Kalamazoo I frequent occassionally with the usual suspects (you know who you are). Only true Lansing enthusiasts frequent it for good reason, no one takes themselves too seriously there and hence the laid back attitude has survived for over fifty years. I personally enjoy the motto that has been synonymous with Art’s since it’s establishment in 1948, “Hey it’s Art’s, Lighten Up.” Art’s has a pretense of being a blue collar dive where the beer is watered down and the food is as greasy as it is good for you. This however is just to keep the frat boy, college age, party goers away. We like to keep things down to a dull roar and only let the pure sports fan or heavy drinker thru the door. This is where the fun begins. Imagine MSU stadium and Cheers rolled into one for those of you still reaching for a clear picture.

First you will meet Bill, the barkeep. He has plenty of spirits behind him but gives you an annoyed expression when you order anything but what’s on draft. We tested his patience on Saturday night by daring to order a “Dirty Girl Scout”. Much to our dismay, Bill didn’t have the ingredients but did proceed to make us a few whiskey shots that were delicious. Because we were so nice and probably a bit too friendly, he only charged us for one round…we had four shots a piece by then!

There are a gob of friendly waitresses who work pretty hard for decent tips. I was there a few weeks ago when our waitress did a shot with our table and then proceeded to play a round of “Quarters” before getting back to handle her other tables. Maybe some of the waitresses act like Coyote Ugly casting rejects but either way it was cool.

Now I come to Art’s most famous asset, Phil, the Sinatra “impersonator”. I use that term loosely but what Phil lacks in talent he makes up for in volume! I met Phil a few months ago and he remembers me by name because we had a lengthy discussion up at the jukebox about the Rat Pack. He is a grey haired, tired looking man, but don’t let his Harry Potter glasses that cover a good third of his face fool you, once the music starts he comes to life, much to the chagrin of the whole bar. Last time I was there Phil was breaking a twenty at the bar so he could fill the song set up with Sinatra’s Greatest Hits CD…and he did it too, the whole CD. “It’s up to you, New York, New Yoooooork!”

And finally I must mention shuffle board. What is even more awesome is that it is free. With a shooper (a huge goblet) of beer in one hand and your puck in the other it is fun to give it a try. It is great when you discover you aren’t half bad at it. It is easy to be overcome with a competitive spirit while playing. I have been witness to some pretty intense games but its harmless because usual the stake are only as high as who is paying for the next round of shoopers.

I would quote Toby Keith’s “I Love This Bar” but you are more likely to hear the Stones or something recorded before 1985 than anything recent. Art’s wood paneling, rickety dart boards and falling ceiling projector may not impress many, but what Art’s lacks in refinement and class is definitely made up for with its unique character.

Alive, Alert, Awake, Enthusiastic!

I remember the early mornings at camp when we would roll out of bed and stumble down to the flag pole yawning and squint at the rising sun as the layer of fog was still blanketed over the lake below. The ducks would still be huddled on the swimming platform and you couldn't help but think to yourself, this early morning stuff is nuts. Just then the Director would come running out of her cabin and just as she had done every morning for the past few months to lead us in a morning chant -I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic! This was of course sung with a lot less vigor than that of the Director. (I had long suspected she use to down a Red Bull before meeting up for morning flag.)

I bring this up on a Monday morning because a bad attitude can weigh on a person for the whole week. This little cheer above, though painful at the crack of dawn, worked and it was hard not to have more of a spring in my step after yelling that positive phrase. Everywhere around us is negativity that continually bashes us down. Be conscious of this and you will find that less things will affect you. You can harnass it. In this spirit, every morning, especially on Mondays, as I walk out to my car to head to work, I look up at the sky. If it is sunny I stop, make myself smile big, and as I stretch I take a deep breath of fresh air. If it is cloudy or rainy, I still smile and take a deep breath. Odds are there are plants in the yard that could really use a drink. I then jump in the car and as I head to work I put in a little Motown and sing at the top of my lungs. Trust me, it makes all the difference.

If you are going to have a bad attitude don't let it be because you just woke up that way. Let it be someone else's fault!

All Hail to Greg, the Zen Master of the Towing World!

This morning I was exhausted. I had stayed up late reading this really good book and lost track of time. Anyway, I jumped in my car while downing the usual toast and diet coke (my coffee substitute) and something was off. I had either gained a half of a ton of weight last night (unlikely) or my car was way off balance. I climbed out and slammed the door on a finger and as I yelled out in agony, I discovered that I had a tire that was completely flat. It's the same one I had to get fixed a few weeks ago up north at Walmart, so I was a little steamed. Now that I think about it Walmart's clever motto is "Always low prices" and has nothing to do with doing decent work for customers. (FYI - I found out from my tire guy down here that Walmart auto repair is pretty hit and miss.)

As I waited for my tow truck to come I sat on the front stoop and decided to call my friend Jessie. I needed to rant and she puts up with me...that is a test of a true friend. Unfortuneately she wasn't around, but as I left her a message I realized that it was kind of silly for me to complain. It is a beautiful morning and I wasn't sitting in a dark office and dealing with the daily stress at work. I pushed up my sleeves to catch some rays and pulled out my book and started to read. I was disappointed when the wrecker finally did show up. I was enjoying myself.

That was when I met Greg. He was a very patient guy willing to answer all of my many questions and even had a few automobile jokes to boot. (i.e. What do you call a four door chicken coup?...a chicken sedan!) We climbed up into his rig and started down the road and I thought about singing the old tune "King of the Road" as we towered over the other cars. I think Greg thought my enthusiam was silly but humored me by answering even more questions! Anyway as we were traveling up to the tire place he put this situation even further into perspective for me when he said, "Everyday I show up to a job and it's usually one person going to the hospital while I take what's left out to a junk yard. Calls like this are actually refreshing. Really you are lucky."

Moral of the story: Even when it's bad it's not that bad....things could be worse. Get over yourself and find the silver lining.

How to Pick a Fight at Work

Who writes this garbage on MSN? It really boosts my ego and makes me think that their freelance jobs aren’t hard to come by. Did anyone read this article today? I had to comment on it because it exceeded my very expectations, not only was it horrible but I found it entirely useless. How do you pick a fight at work? First of all it’s not a logical question. DON'T pick a fight. If anything let them pick fights with you. The word "fight" implies that there is a confrontation with a violent outcome or an angry argument must happen. Common Sense 101, you won’t get what you want through forceful interaction. If you have something that is bugging you or you need to correct a person’s behavior, ask them to change and then you. Why do you have to waste your time harboring ill will and calculating the outcome while you wait for an opportune moment to strike? It’s childish.

In my case I have a secretary at work that doesn't want to learn anything that has entered our office after 1975. It is frusterating. She of course kept trying to pawn stuff off on me instead of learning the new systems until one day I asked her if she needed help learning to do it herself when my boss happened to be in the room. I went as far as to set up a time in my schedule to work with her, ....hehehe! Anyway, she pouted for a few weeks but dare I say it I think we are turning a corner. I wasn't about to get into a fight with a 65 year old woman. Are you kidding me? What would that say about me?

(On the other hand if you do want to be childish try passive–aggressive behavior. It’s much more fun especially if you have terrible odds when it comes to your fighting ability. Mind games are key!)

To all my peeps (not just the marshmellows)

Happy Belated Easter To All!

Haven't had time to write much since I've been on the road most of the day for business. Ah well! Didn't get to participate in an egg hunt this year which is just as well. I tend to get competitive and injure myself...if you knew my family you'd understand why. We take our hunting very seriously. I did however find plenty of food at my Grandma's and ate way too much! It's okay though. I gave up working-out for Lent. Now that it's over I'm back at it. I am kidding, I hit the gym regualarly. I am going to step it up though. Got to get in shape if I'm going to make my buddy run in a race with me!

Follow Up - Day 2

In my research I freaked myself out a little trying to figure out the cause. So in case anyone is still interested here is a paper I found on hiccups. It's quite interesting and caused my hypochondriac self to have a little fun looking up liver disease, kidney failure, heart attack.....yikes! As of 10am this morning though I haven't been hiccupping. Hurray!

Patent Application of Larry R. Nolan for
A DIETARY SUPPLEMENT FOR STOPPING HICCUPS

Background--Field of Invention This invention relates to a dietary supplement, and more particularly, to a dietary supplement for use in stopping hiccups. Background--Description of Prior Art Presently, there are millions of people around the world who suffer from hiccups or hiccoughs. This is a common condition characterized by the repeated involuntary spasmodic contractions of the diaphragm, followed by sudden closure of the glottis, which checks the inflow of air and produces the characteristic sounds. Mild hiccups are most often a reaction to common digestive disturbances, however, there are times when people hiccup for no apparent reason. No one knows for sure why these episodes occur but experts do know that even infants hiccup and the reflex occurs intermittently throughout life. Chronic or consistent hiccups can be a sign of a more serious medical problem. Virtually anything that affects the head, chest, or abdomen such as kidney failure, liver disease, cancer, nervous system problems, ulcers or heart attack can cause hiccups. The contraction of the diaphragm is caused by stimulation of the vagus nerve either by the brain or by irritation anywhere along the length of the nerve. The vagus sends a signal to the phrenic nerve which leads to the diaphragm. The diaphragm then spasms causing the hiccup. Depending on the severity of the condition, there are various home remedies, drugs, and surgery that are used to stop hiccups. The most common home remedies are breathing into a paper bag, holding one's breath, drinking water, eating sugar, or sucking on a slice of lemon. Two of the drugs used for severe cases are prochlorperazine, and chlorpromazine. Intractable hiccups may require surgery to cut the link between the phrenic nerve and the diaphragm, as a means of stopping the spasms. The home remedies may work sometimes but they are usually slow in stopping the hiccups. The drugs and surgery are expensive and may produce side effects. Accordingly, there is a need for an inexpensive and fast acting means of stopping hiccups with no side effects. Objects and Advantages (a) With the foregoing in mind, it is a primary object of the present invention to provide a dietary supplement for use in stopping hiccups. (b) It is another object of the present invention to provide a dietary supplement for stopping hiccups that is comprised of natural ingredients. (c) It is still a further object of the present invention to provide a dietary supplement for stopping hiccups that has minimal or no side effects and is safe for internal consumption. (d) It is still a further object of the present invention to provide a dietary supplement for stopping hiccups that is inexpensive and fast acting. (e) It is still a further object of the present invention to provide a dietary supplement for stopping hiccups that is in full compliance with the Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act of 1994 (DSHEA). These and other objects and advantages of the present invention will be more readily apparent in the summary and description which follows. Summary of the Invention The present invention is directed to a dietary supplement for use in stopping hiccups. The dietary supplement is comprised of natural ingredients. Specifically, the dietary supplement composition of the present invention includes Key Lime concentrate, Lemon concentrate, and Lime Essential Oil. Key Lime, also known as Peruvian lime is a fruit known botanically as Citrus Aurantifolia.

Hiccups!

Hiccups! What causes them is a medical mystery. I’ve been researching it because my case is now bordering on an hour. I am beginning to believe that my condition is chronic and I’ll never be normal again! I’m so annoyed that plunging a pen through my trachea and yanking out a lung seems like the best remedy. Good grief! In my job I talk to a lot of people. This afternoon, much to my dismay I have to be a mute. I may be learning to appreciate the sound of silence but when that silence is breached by an occasional gasp followed by a guttural stop, this silence is no longer golden.

My dad called me earlier and found my frustration amusing. I was excited to hear from him since we hadn’t been able to talk in a couple weeks, yet when I tried to form complete sentences….hiccup! I had some good stories to tell him too! My patience was further tested when I had to explain some new projections to my boss. In between sentences I’d hold my breath praying for them to go away. Don’t think my boss noticed but when I got back to my office I had to breath in a brown paper bag because I was a bit hyperventilated.

Hiccup!!! Come on!

Are you my mother?...Seriously?

This morning on the radio during my morning commute I heard an update on the Holland case which has been a big story down here in the Lansing area for a while. There was a boy named Ricky Holland who disappeared and the parents told the police he probably ran away. Many members of the community got involved with trying to find him, but as the investigation progressed the parents seemed more and more guilty. After Ricky’s adopted father finally showed authorities where the body was buried, charges were brought up against both parents who are now pointing fingers at each other.

Lock them both up and throw away the key. Though it only took one of them to swing the hammer, to cover something like this up is just as bad. This whole case makes me sick and leads me to an irony I was talking about with my friend Jess earlier: You need to have a license to drive a car, own a dog, build, go fishing, hunt, ….however the bar seems to be set pretty low when it comes to being a parent. Can anyone explain this to me? In the case of adoption I would think this sort of thing could be avoided. I get that this may be one case amongst many successful cases but when you hear that there has been a history of abuse in Ricky’s life, you see that when the system fails, it fails big.

Ricky Holland was seven years old.




http://www.lsj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060412/NEWS01/604120350/1001/news

DEMOTIVATION

We're on to you, Extreme Makeover!

Here is the news link
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12100098/

Saw this today and all I could say was "Thank you, Captain Obvious." The article asks the loaded question "extreme makeover or extreme exploitation"? My answer: YES! If you have watched this show you know what a joke this is. If you haven't watched this show then let me enlighten you. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is a relatity show that operates on the premise that there is this family living in a house that is not meeting their needs and then suddenly Ty Pennington and a team comes in and build them a new home. The fact that most of these families are dealing with some sort of tragedy just makes good television. We all want to see something good happen to the down-trodden. Seeing good things happen to a totally capable family is boring...that is why the Publisher's Clearinghouse ads only last like 30 seconds. Long enough to be interesting but short enough for us to not notice the fully loaded Hummer in their driveway.

I use to watch Extreme Makehover every Sunday with my good friends Jessie and Aaron. It was a ritual. We were amused at how in a manor of a week, this team of builders could erect a new home with all these clever convienences inspite of the fact that Ty would be all up in their faces trying to be a funny host with his personal video camera. (Side bar: When he was on TLC's Trading Spaces I found him much hotter because he didn't have a lot of lines.)

The reason I quit watching it though was I realized that I was beginning to wish that I or my friends could be on the show and get an awesome house. So, I would think up what kind of illness or injury would make me a good candidate. In the end, I decided that if a program made me long to have a mental disability or a tragic incident occur perhaps it wasn't good television after all, at least for me!