Art's...Need I Say More?

Art’s Bar is a friendly establishment in downtown off of Kalamazoo I frequent occassionally with the usual suspects (you know who you are). Only true Lansing enthusiasts frequent it for good reason, no one takes themselves too seriously there and hence the laid back attitude has survived for over fifty years. I personally enjoy the motto that has been synonymous with Art’s since it’s establishment in 1948, “Hey it’s Art’s, Lighten Up.” Art’s has a pretense of being a blue collar dive where the beer is watered down and the food is as greasy as it is good for you. This however is just to keep the frat boy, college age, party goers away. We like to keep things down to a dull roar and only let the pure sports fan or heavy drinker thru the door. This is where the fun begins. Imagine MSU stadium and Cheers rolled into one for those of you still reaching for a clear picture.

First you will meet Bill, the barkeep. He has plenty of spirits behind him but gives you an annoyed expression when you order anything but what’s on draft. We tested his patience on Saturday night by daring to order a “Dirty Girl Scout”. Much to our dismay, Bill didn’t have the ingredients but did proceed to make us a few whiskey shots that were delicious. Because we were so nice and probably a bit too friendly, he only charged us for one round…we had four shots a piece by then!

There are a gob of friendly waitresses who work pretty hard for decent tips. I was there a few weeks ago when our waitress did a shot with our table and then proceeded to play a round of “Quarters” before getting back to handle her other tables. Maybe some of the waitresses act like Coyote Ugly casting rejects but either way it was cool.

Now I come to Art’s most famous asset, Phil, the Sinatra “impersonator”. I use that term loosely but what Phil lacks in talent he makes up for in volume! I met Phil a few months ago and he remembers me by name because we had a lengthy discussion up at the jukebox about the Rat Pack. He is a grey haired, tired looking man, but don’t let his Harry Potter glasses that cover a good third of his face fool you, once the music starts he comes to life, much to the chagrin of the whole bar. Last time I was there Phil was breaking a twenty at the bar so he could fill the song set up with Sinatra’s Greatest Hits CD…and he did it too, the whole CD. “It’s up to you, New York, New Yoooooork!”

And finally I must mention shuffle board. What is even more awesome is that it is free. With a shooper (a huge goblet) of beer in one hand and your puck in the other it is fun to give it a try. It is great when you discover you aren’t half bad at it. It is easy to be overcome with a competitive spirit while playing. I have been witness to some pretty intense games but its harmless because usual the stake are only as high as who is paying for the next round of shoopers.

I would quote Toby Keith’s “I Love This Bar” but you are more likely to hear the Stones or something recorded before 1985 than anything recent. Art’s wood paneling, rickety dart boards and falling ceiling projector may not impress many, but what Art’s lacks in refinement and class is definitely made up for with its unique character.