Oh Night Divine

It was Christmas Eve and as been the yearly tradition, we opened up the doors to family and friends who traveled to spend time with loved ones. The candles were lit in the windows, carols were sung beside the piano and violin, favorite foods of the season were laid out and we ate, and the glow from the Christmas tree brought smiles to all faces. Yes it was a year for the books. There may be 'no place like home for the holidays' but every year I like to reflect and be thankful for all who mange to stop by for some Christmas cheer. That "Home" in the quote above is not a place but whoever you are blessed to spend the holiday. I hope you all had somewhere to be on Christmas. It's just not a holiday unless you can share it with people you love.

The beauty of Christmas, that unlike any other holiday, it is easier to get caught up in the Yule and the joy. Is it the memories from our youth that come to mind or is just magic of the season that causes even the serious, stoic sole to manage a smile and give into the merriment of the season? I like to think that the Christmas spirit is contagious. I heard a lot of people say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy New Year" to total strangers during the build up to the holidays and that made me happy though it is unfortunate that people find it hard to share such pleasantries all year long. Perhaps that should be our challenge or resolution for the coming year.

Death of the Rhetorical Question

It wasn't until telling this story to a group of friends the other night at dinner that I thought maybe you might find amusing. The important point I want to make clear is that I am not saying I hate rhetorical questions. When used properly they can further a speakers point and have a real impact. This entry is however talking about the missuse of them and how to go about preventing people from ever using them again.

Last week things around the office were hectic with trying to tie up loose ends before the end of the year hits, so by Friday, my patience was pretty low. The secretary who works in our office was complaining as usual. I like to refer to her as the 'rhetorical queen'. She takes the "poor me" bit to a higher level than anyone I know. After about the fifth time of hearing, "How does he (my boss) expect me to get this done?" I decided to throw her off guard and seriously answer the question by telling her how to exactly do her job. She sat there confused for a second probably wondering how she was going to get her stellar rant in now. The fact that I used the phrase 'outsourcing to the company's main office' might have had something to do with her sudden silence. Ironically enough, everything did get done before 5pm. Who'd of thought? Well besides me.

I got back to my office and had a laugh over it. I think from now on I am going to answer all rhetorical questions if the speaker has a tendency to over use them. I am really enjoying the odd reactions I get from people!

Got this joke on email a while ago!

Santa or Satan?

I was boning up on some of my Christmas trivia today and came across this website:

Santa Claus: the Great Imposter

www.av1611.org/othpubls/santa.html

Can religion and secular mythology be reconciled during the holiday season?

The author of this article describes in great detail how and why Santa is not the innocent childhood fantasy but an influence of Satan in disguise. He quotes the Bible, hymns and carols which support his argument. Check it out if you are curious. I'm not going to dwell on his theory. This is something intended to bring people to faith but as I read it all I could think about was Saturday Night Live when Dana Carvey use to do that Church Lady sketch. Much like Dana Carvey, I don't think that by teaching our children about Santa Claus is urging them to worship the devil.

I came across this extremist view before. I had a friend whose parents were very strict. She couldn't go trick-or-treating on Halloween, they never had an egg hunt on Easter, and Christmas was celebrated by going to church and then home where their sole decoration was a Nativity Set and no presents in sight. While it is not for me to judge what they found appropriate, there are beneficial results in urging your children to believe in fantasies. If you can succeed in opening your child's mind to something outside the realm of the literal, black, white fact you urge them to develop an imagination and sense of creativity. This spawns an ability to see things in a different way which is a trait already so rare in most people.

In the case of Santa, believing in him is not the problem. I think it is possible to teach kids about God and tell stories about Santa Claus. As long as it is done with some kind of tact, I don't think you will see kids putting Santa altars up and forgetting the baby Jesus. Parents are not idiots. If you want to draw lines I imagine all the "once upon a times..." Go out the window with the Tooth Fairy, Peter Cotton Tail...Etc....What kind of childhood would that be like? As adults this former belief in there being Father Christmas evolves, and what we love about Santa is that he becomes a physical representation to what we all feel inside ourselves this time of year, Christmas Spirit. This is goodwill, adoration for our fellow man, and for a lot of people this is thanksgiving for the birth of the Savior.

Though it is only a matter of moving an "n" from Santa to Satan, I am not convinced that they are the same guy.

An Albino Moose

This is not a conspiracy...there is a such thing as an albino moose. My sister sent me this picture from Anchorage, Alaska. I thought it would be appropriate to show you this today since with the wind chill it is around five degrees out. Brrrr! Looking at this picture makes me cold! It could be worse, right? Michiganders should atleast take comfort in the fact that it is a whole three degrees colder up in Anchorage today! Ha!

Why Aren't You Married?

The phrase "oh why must Christmas come but once a year" is more of a relief than having to do with any kind of longing for most single people because among the barage of imposing questions that family and friends shoot at them this question, "So why aren't you married?" or "Why are you still single?" tops the list. I have an Aunt who asked me this over the Thanksgiving holiday and though I am just twenty-six. In her eyes I am already an old maid. So with the holidays at hand, family gathering, mistletoe hanging everywhere, and being single, below are a few combacks of my own to help you out. I also checkout some other websites for ideas. I'm sure more times than not people foolishly ask this question as more of a conversation starter instead of a serious inquiry, but you might as well have a little fun with it!

"Why aren't you married?"

1) I choose to be single.
2) I'm still holding out for ...(insert married celebrity name here).
3) Why aren't you divorced?
4) And be like you?....(laugh and then walk away)
5) I'm not willing to give up on love yet.
6) Why have a spouse when I get enough nagging from my mother.
7) I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
8) No one I met seems to be that stupid.
9) I thought about it many times, but then I sober up.
10) I'm saving for a divorce first.
11) My many lovers would never understand.
12) I'm terrible at picking kids names.
13) Why aren't you thin?
14) Just lucky I guess

From an article on MSN today:
14) I look at marriage as an old fashion, patrician, indentured-slave pratise that imprisions people in a back breaking, emotionally bereft sinkhole.

Barbara Walters 10 Most Fasinating?Whaaaat?

I didn't bother watching Barbara Walter's annual "10 Most Facinating People" special this year because I felt like Babs phoned it in. She took the opportunity to put up 10 intriguing if not inspiring people and instead put up some of the most media-exhausted, starlight craving goofs. This isn't true of all ten but come on Barbara, dig a little deeper.

Here is her list-and of course my thoughts:

1) Dakota Fanning -I'm okay with this. Dakota has acted with all my favorite leading men and has held her own while most of the other female leads in Hollywood can't say the same. She may not be that exciting to watch with no downward spiral of drug or alcohol abuse going on, but she is only ten, give it a few years.

2)Jamie Foxx - I am luke warm about this guy. He did a good job portraying Ray Charles and probably deserved that Oscar but keep in mind he also made the movie Stealth in the same year. What's facinating is that people went to see him in "Ray" after seeing "Stealth".

3)Condoleeza Rice - 1st African American woman to be Secretary of State. A lot of people don't like her and she does work for "W" but I'll give Barbara this one.

4) Terri Hatcher - America's self declared "biggest has-been" is a Desperate Housewife. My friend Aaron made an observation a while back: her character supposively works at home as a children's book illustrator but never once on the show has she ever worked or even eluded to working...hmmm. I don't hold that against her...perhaps the writer's don't want to test her range as an actress acting since she isn't that great at it. She hot but yeah, kind of whiney. Does hotness make you facinating? Pam Andersen could have easily been here instead under this criteria.

5) Thomas Mesereau - This guy was Michael Jackson's defence attorney. He told Barbara that the "trial was a disgrace". Okay, but you got him off and then you turned around and got Robert Blake off. Way to play into the disgraceful system. Facinating? well lawyer jokes aside he's just doing his job. His hair on the other hand...

6)Lance Armstrong - The world is all about Lance. He's great. I love him. Lets interview him again because there has to be something we haven't heard out of this guy from all the other interviews he's been in...His story is facinating, hearing it for the 30th time isn't.

7)Beth Holloway-Twitty - Mother of missing girl who disappeared in Aruba last fall. Pulling on the heart-strings of viewers, Barbara picked her because she is still leading the investigation and the whole situation is a tragedy. America might ask what kind of parent lets their daughter go to a foriegn country on her own, but then again what kind of parent continues to search for their missing kid after six months missing when it seems the rest of the world has thrown in the towel.

8)Tom Cruise - Barbara must have a crush of this fist pumping, couch bouncing, toothy grinning star. He's not facinating. He was when he was the dreaming pilot on Top Gun or intense lawyer in A Few Goodmen but face it, Tom has shot himself in the foot by opening his mouth and consenting to interviews without first consulting anybody. Now, he needs some image work. I would like to put Katie Holmes on the spot and ask her how the conversion to Scientology is going. Katie has been pretty quiet and has sounded a little rehearsed compared to Tommy. I saw a guy selling a shirt the other day that said "Free Katie" and had a good laugh!

9)Kanye West - "George Bush hates black people" Comments like this just fly out of his mouth (he has the same problem Tommy does) and he picks a hurricane relief telethone to voice his oppinion, poor Mike Meyers. It's like a few years ago when he went to the media and made a big deal out of not getting any nods for Grammys. Pick your battles Kanye and more importantly, find more appropriate ways and times to express your views where people will take them seriously. This has nothing to do with your race and everything to do with you. Barbara doesnt' get that either.

10) Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall - last and least? I don't have anything against Cami, but why is she facinating? She hooked up with Charles, ooh! the drama! People tend to focus more on Di and Chuck's boys.

I won't end there. I'll offer a few suggestions just to help Barb out:

Stanley Tookie Williams - He is a convicted killer in California who founded the Crips gang in 1971. He since has become an antigang activist while in San Quentin State Prison and has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize five times. He also has been nominated for the Nobel Prize in literature for the childrens books he has written. Stanley was just denied his final appeal and his final chance for a pardon is for a governor's pardon as he waits to be exceuted by lethal injection on December 13th.

Paul Blank - He is the campaign director of "Wakeup Walmart" an organization that is urging America to cut off Walmart cold turkey and is spreading allegations that Walkmart is bad to it's employees, the environment, and communities. This is catching on nationally and they have a website (www.wakeupwalmart.com) check it out. Somebody should sit down with this guy and give him a chance to defend those nice Walmart greeters.

Steve Mariucci - This is the former Lion's coach, recently sent packing. After a heated debate over why the Lions are so bad and who deserves to be blaimed, it is apparent to me after some research that Matt Millien, president of the club since 2001 should be in the dog house as well. I'm not putting it all on Millien but since taking the reigns he is the one who recuited most of the players that played under Mariucci. In spite of the teams losing record since 2001, Millien also managed to get a five year extension before this season even started. Facinating!

Julia Roberts - She is the highest paid actress in the world. The fact that she can act is a plus too, you can't help but like her. Dakota and she should do a movie together. $20 Million a flick! This is after taking this year off and having twins. She is standing toe to toe with the likes of Mel Gibson and Bruce Willis. You go girl!

Maj. Monte Anderson - Project leader at ScorpWorks an internal division within the Air Force Research Lab Energy Directorat. He and his team made a weapon called a Phaser-Personal Haulting and Simulation Response. It is a new defense weapon that uses a laser system and through bright intensity affects vision and mobility. It looks like something out of Star Wars I saw a demo on MSN and am just getting my vision back. Haven't you always wanted to ask a question starting with 'Major Monte'...? Well now you do.