Alive, Alert, Awake, Enthusiastic!

I remember the early mornings at camp when we would roll out of bed and stumble down to the flag pole yawning and squint at the rising sun as the layer of fog was still blanketed over the lake below. The ducks would still be huddled on the swimming platform and you couldn't help but think to yourself, this early morning stuff is nuts. Just then the Director would come running out of her cabin and just as she had done every morning for the past few months to lead us in a morning chant -I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic! This was of course sung with a lot less vigor than that of the Director. (I had long suspected she use to down a Red Bull before meeting up for morning flag.)

I bring this up on a Monday morning because a bad attitude can weigh on a person for the whole week. This little cheer above, though painful at the crack of dawn, worked and it was hard not to have more of a spring in my step after yelling that positive phrase. Everywhere around us is negativity that continually bashes us down. Be conscious of this and you will find that less things will affect you. You can harnass it. In this spirit, every morning, especially on Mondays, as I walk out to my car to head to work, I look up at the sky. If it is sunny I stop, make myself smile big, and as I stretch I take a deep breath of fresh air. If it is cloudy or rainy, I still smile and take a deep breath. Odds are there are plants in the yard that could really use a drink. I then jump in the car and as I head to work I put in a little Motown and sing at the top of my lungs. Trust me, it makes all the difference.

If you are going to have a bad attitude don't let it be because you just woke up that way. Let it be someone else's fault!

All Hail to Greg, the Zen Master of the Towing World!

This morning I was exhausted. I had stayed up late reading this really good book and lost track of time. Anyway, I jumped in my car while downing the usual toast and diet coke (my coffee substitute) and something was off. I had either gained a half of a ton of weight last night (unlikely) or my car was way off balance. I climbed out and slammed the door on a finger and as I yelled out in agony, I discovered that I had a tire that was completely flat. It's the same one I had to get fixed a few weeks ago up north at Walmart, so I was a little steamed. Now that I think about it Walmart's clever motto is "Always low prices" and has nothing to do with doing decent work for customers. (FYI - I found out from my tire guy down here that Walmart auto repair is pretty hit and miss.)

As I waited for my tow truck to come I sat on the front stoop and decided to call my friend Jessie. I needed to rant and she puts up with me...that is a test of a true friend. Unfortuneately she wasn't around, but as I left her a message I realized that it was kind of silly for me to complain. It is a beautiful morning and I wasn't sitting in a dark office and dealing with the daily stress at work. I pushed up my sleeves to catch some rays and pulled out my book and started to read. I was disappointed when the wrecker finally did show up. I was enjoying myself.

That was when I met Greg. He was a very patient guy willing to answer all of my many questions and even had a few automobile jokes to boot. (i.e. What do you call a four door chicken coup?...a chicken sedan!) We climbed up into his rig and started down the road and I thought about singing the old tune "King of the Road" as we towered over the other cars. I think Greg thought my enthusiam was silly but humored me by answering even more questions! Anyway as we were traveling up to the tire place he put this situation even further into perspective for me when he said, "Everyday I show up to a job and it's usually one person going to the hospital while I take what's left out to a junk yard. Calls like this are actually refreshing. Really you are lucky."

Moral of the story: Even when it's bad it's not that bad....things could be worse. Get over yourself and find the silver lining.

How to Pick a Fight at Work

Who writes this garbage on MSN? It really boosts my ego and makes me think that their freelance jobs aren’t hard to come by. Did anyone read this article today? I had to comment on it because it exceeded my very expectations, not only was it horrible but I found it entirely useless. How do you pick a fight at work? First of all it’s not a logical question. DON'T pick a fight. If anything let them pick fights with you. The word "fight" implies that there is a confrontation with a violent outcome or an angry argument must happen. Common Sense 101, you won’t get what you want through forceful interaction. If you have something that is bugging you or you need to correct a person’s behavior, ask them to change and then you. Why do you have to waste your time harboring ill will and calculating the outcome while you wait for an opportune moment to strike? It’s childish.

In my case I have a secretary at work that doesn't want to learn anything that has entered our office after 1975. It is frusterating. She of course kept trying to pawn stuff off on me instead of learning the new systems until one day I asked her if she needed help learning to do it herself when my boss happened to be in the room. I went as far as to set up a time in my schedule to work with her, ....hehehe! Anyway, she pouted for a few weeks but dare I say it I think we are turning a corner. I wasn't about to get into a fight with a 65 year old woman. Are you kidding me? What would that say about me?

(On the other hand if you do want to be childish try passive–aggressive behavior. It’s much more fun especially if you have terrible odds when it comes to your fighting ability. Mind games are key!)

To all my peeps (not just the marshmellows)

Happy Belated Easter To All!

Haven't had time to write much since I've been on the road most of the day for business. Ah well! Didn't get to participate in an egg hunt this year which is just as well. I tend to get competitive and injure myself...if you knew my family you'd understand why. We take our hunting very seriously. I did however find plenty of food at my Grandma's and ate way too much! It's okay though. I gave up working-out for Lent. Now that it's over I'm back at it. I am kidding, I hit the gym regualarly. I am going to step it up though. Got to get in shape if I'm going to make my buddy run in a race with me!

Follow Up - Day 2

In my research I freaked myself out a little trying to figure out the cause. So in case anyone is still interested here is a paper I found on hiccups. It's quite interesting and caused my hypochondriac self to have a little fun looking up liver disease, kidney failure, heart attack.....yikes! As of 10am this morning though I haven't been hiccupping. Hurray!

Patent Application of Larry R. Nolan for
A DIETARY SUPPLEMENT FOR STOPPING HICCUPS

Background--Field of Invention This invention relates to a dietary supplement, and more particularly, to a dietary supplement for use in stopping hiccups. Background--Description of Prior Art Presently, there are millions of people around the world who suffer from hiccups or hiccoughs. This is a common condition characterized by the repeated involuntary spasmodic contractions of the diaphragm, followed by sudden closure of the glottis, which checks the inflow of air and produces the characteristic sounds. Mild hiccups are most often a reaction to common digestive disturbances, however, there are times when people hiccup for no apparent reason. No one knows for sure why these episodes occur but experts do know that even infants hiccup and the reflex occurs intermittently throughout life. Chronic or consistent hiccups can be a sign of a more serious medical problem. Virtually anything that affects the head, chest, or abdomen such as kidney failure, liver disease, cancer, nervous system problems, ulcers or heart attack can cause hiccups. The contraction of the diaphragm is caused by stimulation of the vagus nerve either by the brain or by irritation anywhere along the length of the nerve. The vagus sends a signal to the phrenic nerve which leads to the diaphragm. The diaphragm then spasms causing the hiccup. Depending on the severity of the condition, there are various home remedies, drugs, and surgery that are used to stop hiccups. The most common home remedies are breathing into a paper bag, holding one's breath, drinking water, eating sugar, or sucking on a slice of lemon. Two of the drugs used for severe cases are prochlorperazine, and chlorpromazine. Intractable hiccups may require surgery to cut the link between the phrenic nerve and the diaphragm, as a means of stopping the spasms. The home remedies may work sometimes but they are usually slow in stopping the hiccups. The drugs and surgery are expensive and may produce side effects. Accordingly, there is a need for an inexpensive and fast acting means of stopping hiccups with no side effects. Objects and Advantages (a) With the foregoing in mind, it is a primary object of the present invention to provide a dietary supplement for use in stopping hiccups. (b) It is another object of the present invention to provide a dietary supplement for stopping hiccups that is comprised of natural ingredients. (c) It is still a further object of the present invention to provide a dietary supplement for stopping hiccups that has minimal or no side effects and is safe for internal consumption. (d) It is still a further object of the present invention to provide a dietary supplement for stopping hiccups that is inexpensive and fast acting. (e) It is still a further object of the present invention to provide a dietary supplement for stopping hiccups that is in full compliance with the Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act of 1994 (DSHEA). These and other objects and advantages of the present invention will be more readily apparent in the summary and description which follows. Summary of the Invention The present invention is directed to a dietary supplement for use in stopping hiccups. The dietary supplement is comprised of natural ingredients. Specifically, the dietary supplement composition of the present invention includes Key Lime concentrate, Lemon concentrate, and Lime Essential Oil. Key Lime, also known as Peruvian lime is a fruit known botanically as Citrus Aurantifolia.

Hiccups!

Hiccups! What causes them is a medical mystery. I’ve been researching it because my case is now bordering on an hour. I am beginning to believe that my condition is chronic and I’ll never be normal again! I’m so annoyed that plunging a pen through my trachea and yanking out a lung seems like the best remedy. Good grief! In my job I talk to a lot of people. This afternoon, much to my dismay I have to be a mute. I may be learning to appreciate the sound of silence but when that silence is breached by an occasional gasp followed by a guttural stop, this silence is no longer golden.

My dad called me earlier and found my frustration amusing. I was excited to hear from him since we hadn’t been able to talk in a couple weeks, yet when I tried to form complete sentences….hiccup! I had some good stories to tell him too! My patience was further tested when I had to explain some new projections to my boss. In between sentences I’d hold my breath praying for them to go away. Don’t think my boss noticed but when I got back to my office I had to breath in a brown paper bag because I was a bit hyperventilated.

Hiccup!!! Come on!

Are you my mother?...Seriously?

This morning on the radio during my morning commute I heard an update on the Holland case which has been a big story down here in the Lansing area for a while. There was a boy named Ricky Holland who disappeared and the parents told the police he probably ran away. Many members of the community got involved with trying to find him, but as the investigation progressed the parents seemed more and more guilty. After Ricky’s adopted father finally showed authorities where the body was buried, charges were brought up against both parents who are now pointing fingers at each other.

Lock them both up and throw away the key. Though it only took one of them to swing the hammer, to cover something like this up is just as bad. This whole case makes me sick and leads me to an irony I was talking about with my friend Jess earlier: You need to have a license to drive a car, own a dog, build, go fishing, hunt, ….however the bar seems to be set pretty low when it comes to being a parent. Can anyone explain this to me? In the case of adoption I would think this sort of thing could be avoided. I get that this may be one case amongst many successful cases but when you hear that there has been a history of abuse in Ricky’s life, you see that when the system fails, it fails big.

Ricky Holland was seven years old.




http://www.lsj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060412/NEWS01/604120350/1001/news

DEMOTIVATION

We're on to you, Extreme Makeover!

Here is the news link
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12100098/

Saw this today and all I could say was "Thank you, Captain Obvious." The article asks the loaded question "extreme makeover or extreme exploitation"? My answer: YES! If you have watched this show you know what a joke this is. If you haven't watched this show then let me enlighten you. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is a relatity show that operates on the premise that there is this family living in a house that is not meeting their needs and then suddenly Ty Pennington and a team comes in and build them a new home. The fact that most of these families are dealing with some sort of tragedy just makes good television. We all want to see something good happen to the down-trodden. Seeing good things happen to a totally capable family is boring...that is why the Publisher's Clearinghouse ads only last like 30 seconds. Long enough to be interesting but short enough for us to not notice the fully loaded Hummer in their driveway.

I use to watch Extreme Makehover every Sunday with my good friends Jessie and Aaron. It was a ritual. We were amused at how in a manor of a week, this team of builders could erect a new home with all these clever convienences inspite of the fact that Ty would be all up in their faces trying to be a funny host with his personal video camera. (Side bar: When he was on TLC's Trading Spaces I found him much hotter because he didn't have a lot of lines.)

The reason I quit watching it though was I realized that I was beginning to wish that I or my friends could be on the show and get an awesome house. So, I would think up what kind of illness or injury would make me a good candidate. In the end, I decided that if a program made me long to have a mental disability or a tragic incident occur perhaps it wasn't good television after all, at least for me!

SPYING ON MYSELF

Is there something that your spouse, significant other, family member or friend won’t tell you? What if there was a way to find out? Would you take it?

Look no further that the A& E Network’s new reality show “Spying on Myself”. This clever little show not only validates personal illusions, it also proves that the individual on the show, “the point” is totally insecure or that a previous functional relationship is a sham. These are the two extremes that are generally exploited to make "good" reality television. How? This is done of course in the good old fashion way of using dishonesty and manipulation. I would describe this program as Jerry Springer meets Candid Camera and that is a compliment. They could sink this program into a deeper circle of syndcated hell, but they do have some standards since it is aired on basic cable and fits nicely into a half an hour time slot!

Here is how it works: You have an the "point person" who is unhappy and decides the only way they can get the “mark” to divulge information they have to know is by utilizing costumes, make up, and false pretenses. Accomplices also join in on the con and when it is all put together it is quite an elaborate scheme complete with a control room where producers sit and feed the point person and the accomplices’ lines. Most of the get up or characters created for the point person are pretty sad. Even though your are suppose to empathize with the “point person” you end of feeling bad for the mark every time as they sit there and the expression on their face reads “are you kidding me?” and then have to be faced with the knowledge that they’ve been exposed on national television.

If you don’t place a lot of stock in the sanctity of marriage, respect the bonds of friendship, or don’t encourage one on one communication with loved ones, this might be up your alley. Whether you end up being the point person on this show, with good intentions or not, no one comes out of these scenarios looking good, including me who wasted a half an hour watching it.

In the Line of Fire

Lockdown, the third hour.....Guess what happened?

http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060320/NEWS01/603200352/1150

For those who do not wish you follow the link let me summarize. A cop was shot a few doors down from here this morning and now there is a man hunt going on in the neighborhood. If there wasn't an armed fugitive within a mile of this place, I would be quite annoyed with the helicopter that keeps zooming by my window. Anyway, we are suppose to stay in and lock the doors. A cop is suppose to call or stop in and let us know if we have to leave or if the "lockdown" is over. Needless to say nothing is getting done around the office. Besides the intent surveillance of the police activities outdoors, everyone is taking turns telling war stories...Unfortunately for me I was never in a war.

I don't mean to be a smart ass but I am tempted to ask the officer in our parking lot if I could borrow a kevlar vest for a lunch meeting.

When Irish Eyes Are Smiling...

In praise of St. Patrick's Day, thought I'd share a joke as well as a couple old Irish sayings. Hope you all enjoy your green eggs and ham and get your fill of green beer as you spend your day as an honorary Irish person. By the way, if you even think about pinching me, don't. I will hurt you.
_______________________________________________________

Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, "O'Brian, come 'ere. I 'ave a request for ye."

Shawn walked to his friend's bedside and kneels."Shawny ole boy, we've been friends all our lives, and now I'm leaving 'ere. I 'ave one last request fir ye to do."

O'Brian burst into tears, "Anything Patrick, anything ye wish. It's done.""Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Ireland. Bottled the year I was born it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity."

O'Brian was overcome by the beauty and in the true Irish spirit of his friend's request, he asked, "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?"
__________________________________________________________

The truth comes out when the spirit goes in.

__________________________________________________________

Beagán agus a rá go maith.

Be (e as in echo) gawn og us uh rah go (as in going) mah.

Say little but say it well.

Game On!

March Madness has begun. Why madness?...becasue anything can happen. I'm hoping my bracket doesn't get blown out of the water too soon. I am in an online league with some of my friends and as of 12:10pm today I have been bouncing off the walls. The Boston College game about killed me! Tennessee didn't look as good as I hoped either. Before I go on about every one of my hang ups with yesterday's games, I will let you know that I did in fact keep MSU in it till the sweet sixteen. This is not because I am an alum...well not totally atleast. MSU is a tournament team and have a history of exceeding expectations in the post season. We need Davis to stop looking so confused and get more aggressive, Ager and Brown to sink some buckets and Neitzel to have a good game. Our defensive isn't the greatest, but MSU is a worthy threat in my opinion. Lets hope my predictions pan out tonight, else I owe a friend $20! GO GREEN!!!

Mr President, Have Pity on the Working Man...

Alright woman, but it's a good song either way. It also serves as my theme song as I vigorously figure out how much of my money Uncle Sam is going to pry from my grasp this year. One good thing about Bush's tax cuts is that I get a larger standard deducation, but unfotuneately a raise last fall kicked me up a few tax brackets so really I am not as far ahead of the curve as I would like. Figuring out taxes is a game for me. Every year I seem to find a new deduction that may apply to my situtation. This year is a little tougher though! I'm not putting my calculator yet. There has got to be something else I can claim....I came accross credits for adoption, senior citizens, tuition, yadda yaddah yaddah....Not much out there for this single, white woman with a steady job, good health, no debt and no kids. Bummer!

Demotivation

Sacrifice

Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you.

Driving Blind

I'm not refering to a really cold day when you don't want to leave the comfort of you heater to scrape off your wind shield so you employ x-ray vision to see your way down the road. I was perusing the headlines today on MSN and apparently there are schools in the Chicago area that make driver's education a requirement for graduation. This sounds ridiculous because these kid complain about haveing to waste time learning something they are never going to use. Is this a good idea? A class that reminds a blind student of their handicap and is a reminder of how they are different...as if living with a handicap isn't a reminder enough.

I thought this was a good argument even though the defense of "we will never have to use this in real life" has never worked in my case. For example: trigonometry, tredding water for 30 minutes, the metric system.......can you think of any other winners?

Iditarod

Random I know, but I was up in Alaska two years ago and I fell in love with the rich history surrounding this race which runs every March between Anchorage and Nome. Now I check in and get the latest stories from the trail. It's actually pretty interesting if you are into "off the beaten path" kind of sports. For those of you who are lucky enough to get the OLN tv channel, I hear they are airing it this week.

Here is a decent website if you are interested. (www.ultimateiditarod.com)

Fair winds and following seas

Aruba Adventure 2006 is over. I am already missing the white sandy beaches and amazing sunsets, but I have many memories to take with me. Blogger unfortuneately won't accept my pics, so while I'm working on this problem thought I'd atleast quel the rumors. I did return and I that I didn't chuck it all and become a permanent islander. The next question you want to ask me is 'why the heck not?' Highlights from the trip include advancing to a smaller board for wind surfing, seeing an octopus up close and personal thanks to an eager brother-in-law, and getting to dance on the beach with my dad! Good times were had and I'll update more soon!

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

How cold? I am in my office camped out by the radiator trying to thaw out. Luckily, my keyboard has an extra long cord, so I can type from over here. After thunder showers last night I woke up this morning to an icey world. Everything was glazed in crystal and sparkled in the sunlight. It was beautiful. As I stepped out of my apartment building I took in a breath of crisp air and seeing how the parking lot resembled more of an ice rink, I had to channel Michelle Kwan, pre-injury, to make it over to my car. I gave myself a 5.5. Wasn't a perfect effort since I did spill my tea a little but I inadvertantly slid on my last step to the car door which turned out rather graceful.

My car was frozen shut. As I was circling the car fighting each door I looked up to my elderly neighbor's window and she was perched on her chair waving. I bet she was getting quite the chuckle. After multiple trips for hot water (since I spilled a quater of it everytime I had to manage that ice), I finally got it open and started up. As I was driving down 496 (Olds Hwy) I heard a wind noise that didn't make sense when suddenly my passenger-side door flew open. I nearly last my purse and lunch as a gush of cold air wipped in taking me totally off guard. I few people honked at me because maybe they didn't realize my passenger door flew open or something. Luckily I have freakishly long arms and was able to reach accross the seat and hold the door till I could pull off and slam it shut. Whew!

Drove the rest of the way into work paranoid that my other doors were suddenly going to break loose. When I pulled into the parking lot, ironically enough the driver's side door had frozen shut (from all the hot water freezing after I got in) and I had to push it open. Now my left shoulder is killing me! Uhg!

To sum up: Me and Ice are fighting!

A Night with the Grinch

I went to see Seusical the Musical this weekend to see an amusing performance by my cousin as one of the Whos of Whoville, (That's him on the right!) Beside the fact that Aaron made a pretty funny Grinch and I never knew he could sing that low, the show reminded me of my childhood love of the Dr. Seuss stories. As you get older and distance yourself from the old Dr. Seuss books, you forget what simple, important lessons he taught us through satire and humor. For example, "The Lorax" is a parable of the short-sighted exploitation of natural resources. There is also the popular Horton the Elephant, featured in the musical, that trumpeted, "I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant is faithful one hundred percent." and "...a person's a person no matter how small."

So thanks Dr. Seuss for The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, Sam I Am, Butter Battle Book, You're Only Old Once, Yertle the Turtle, Cat in the Hat, and all the others. You sparked imagination and creativity in countless number of children through the years. My childhood without his simple rhymes of outlandish names and places in the magical stories is inconceivable.

Here is one of my favorite quotes from Oh, the Places You'll Go!

"You're off to great places! Today is the day!

Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way!"