Marriage programs to get a boost from feds

Do you find this funny as well? Silly George!

Writer's Block

I have been tasked with writting a poem for a friend of mine and can not get past the first few phrases. I have never been blocked like this before. The topic has to be love and committment since it will be read at a wedding this fall. I still got time but, man, I get to the third line and it goes south. I have written things of this nature before, but perhaps it's the pressure of having an actual writting assignment that is getting to me. The other reason for my inabilty to fill up a notebook with fancy rhymes of romance and adoration is the possibility that I have grown far too synical to be an "everything is coming up roses" kind of writer. I don't know.

This leads me to the realization that tragedy, grief, and saddness are much more rich topics to write about. For every happy song out there is at least five sad songs. My Grandpa loves the old Hank Williams/Willie Nelson ballads -i.e. My heart was trampled by a metephorical bulldozer - this he refers to as the essentials of a good song: "crying, sighing, and dying". Years ago my younger brother once spoke up during one of Grandpa's favorites and said, "Grandpa, why are your songs always so sad?"

My point is that creatively speaking it may be harder to write something possitive than it is to dwell on the rough side of life. Is this because we take the joy in our lives for granted more often while sad things hit us deeper? I prefer to think that the human condition is not so hopeless but the emotions we feel on the "darker side" of the spectrum tend bring additional complexity and convoluted feelings. Hence a world of ideas for the creative processes.

It is not that happiness is not a good thing. It's just not as dementional while sadness and despair is so much more interesting. If this makes me jadded, then atleast I will be a jadded but published writer.

Paris the Icon (not so fast!)

Today I read this article...yeah, got tired of reading about Israel so I looked for something lighter. Hotel heiress Paris Hilton has dubbed herself an icon and said she was on the same level as Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana. I about lost it when I read this declaration from the wannabe warbler. While her popularity is certainly there, I think people are more interested in what dumb thing she is going to do next than how she feels about the AIDS epidemic (Princess Diana's personal mission) or brag about her string of box office success (oh wait, no one bothered going to see the movie she is in!).

The question is what have you contributed to become an icon? You are blonde and a size zero but you don't pride yourself in intelligence like Lady Di and you don't have the trademark blowing a kiss pose like Marilyn....if you think that dead-eye, vacant glare you give the cameras can equate to that, thus giving you an iconic trademark, I think we got problems.

Furthermore, the fact that you are a self-proclaimed icon really doesn't get you the respect. I mean be a bit humble, Paris. It's stunts like this that make you even more annoying.

Miller Time!

Last night I scored tickets to the Steve Miller Band concert at Common Grounds Music Festival. With me as always was “Bessie” my partner in crime (specifically for the hard cord 70s and 80s music experiences)….Journey comes on the radio and I call her! Bessie understands my appreciation for the randomly obscure as well as knowing better than to let a once in a lifetime opportunity like this to pass her by. Given she would probably only go for Steve Miller tickets once in a lifetime but that is just semantics. Anyway, I just noticed “Bessie” also wrote a review on her site “Mrs. Ca”, check it out.

The sun was slowly sinking behind the skyline as Bessie and I were making our way up to some primo seats. We are a pretty big deal…VIPS...alls I’m saying...The “Huntunes” were finishing up their set which was good because I was at the point where after you make fun of a band for so long you begin to pity the guy that gave them the okay to play! I spose as long as the band enjoyed themselves then that is all that matters, because the crowd sure was not! Two of the band members had shaved heads. I couldn’t tell you what they sang but I can say that the thought of how it would feel to burn your bald head did cross my mind a few times when they were up there, dressed in black and bobbing to the beat. They tried to do a version of Cash’s “Folsom Prison” and I nearly threw my chair at the stage. How dare they ruin such a sacred song! To say their version was weak would be generous.

Another monent of note was when the Mayor got up and welcomed the crowd. I found that hilarious because as he walked down the main aisle and passed Bessie and I, I discovered how tiny he is. I talked on this blog about the Kenny Chesany phenomenon...you know how Kenny is really only three feet tall and that it is just lighting and effects that make him life size? Well, same thing here. Our mayor is an Oompah-Loompah. Go figure! While waiting in line for the bathroom later on he came by and was shaking people's hands which weirded me out a little. I guess all us in line were a captive audience but even so, ewh!

The concert was sold out and the freaky side of Lansing came out of the woodwork for Steven. The first thing that struck me was that I forgot to wear tie-dye! I totally didn’t think! The loyal ones probably know what to wear because they are permanently living in 1970 and probably haven't changed or dare I say bathed since. There were a few women wearing (and I use that term loosely) bathing suits as well which of course was weird because besides there was no beach in sight and nobody wanted to see their bodies....see Mrs. Ca's entry, she nailed it!

So, Steve and his posse came on stage but Bessie and I didn’t buy into it until the third song “Abracadabra”. It was awesome! For a couple of his other lesser know tunes I tried to sing it over and it totally worked with the music. He's a blues rocker at heart which I enjoyed.

The crowd really got going when psychedelic images were projected on a big white trampoline above the band as the colorful instrumentation began for “Fly Like an Eagle”. After over ten minutes of flying I began to tire and found I was spending most of my time avoiding being crushed by huge drunk girl to my right rather than enjoy the music. During this time though I did take in our surroundings. In front of us sat Hugh Hefner with his trophy gal and just beside them accumulated a group of women dancing along the gate passing around drinks and joints and continually yelling such marque phrases like, "This is the best band ever!" and "Play Jokester!" Actually I started that to see if they would repeat me...and they did! Morons!

As the refraim played for the thirtieth time, Bessie turned to me and yelled “This is not Freebird!” which got me laughing. I guess if I was high or drunk or mentally altered in some other way, I wouldn’t have minded so much because that the state Steve intended for his listeners to be in I spose. Just staying “tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock” over and over again for three straight minutes though was great because it really drove the point of "time slippin’"…because singing the refraim a half dozen more times didn’t quite get me there.

Steve brought us back into the fold with “Rock N’ Me”. By this point I was yelling for "The Joker" in between every song but tricky Steve waited till the end to slip in that number. What a joker!

Well played Steve, well played!

In conclusion I would like to thank Bessie for coming along as well as for putting up with my code name for her in this entry! I thought it was pretty funny. I would also like to express my appreciation to the Oasis VIP area where I enjoyed a pleasant evening sipping wine along the shores of the Grand River. I also would like to thank drunk girl and her gang for keeping it lite and not crushing me or my friend when you decided to bust a move that resembled more of a near fall.

I enjoyed myself but I better get started on working on my guy to hand over some more tickets for the other performers this week. It will take plenty of sucking up but I am fotuneately not above groveling! The ones of note performing this week are Poison, Styx, Cheap Trick, Ted Nugent, & Etta James. Any would be great to see!

Later!

A Failure to Communicate....

Our telephone, email, and fax are out again at work. To say that negativity would describe the office climate presently would be an understatement considering I heard talk in the hallway earlier that involved getting our clients to black list the companies involved. I’ve been hiding back in my office avoiding the whole mess, though I may have to step up soon. My boss’s face is an exceptionally darker shade of red now. The minute he starts clenching his arm I will have to get off the bench, though I doubt my co-workers will enjoy hearing how I would handle the situation.

Technology is a huge problem in our office. There is no clear entity to place blame between us (the user), the cable company and the telephone company. This is tricky because now we have to figure out who will fix it. Typically our office manager (who has a fuse shorter than the rest of us) goes directly on the offensive. He says it is being handled though I use the term “handled” lightly because he has been acting like a total ass to each company’s representative. Why? Because he thinks that by being irate and course he will be taken more seriously and solve this mess expediciously. He’s been on hold most of the day…no kidding! Who would want to deal with someone who uses these tactics in troubleshooting? As the hours pass he keeps getting madder and madder. Go figure on such simple logic as his.

Perhaps I will tactfully step in and take the reigns once our office manager goes to lunch. I think with as confused every party is in this mess, we need to give these guys the opportunity to step up and offer a solution since we haven’t been able to come up with one our selves, that would be more productive than spending another four hours deciding who caused it. We got a problem between us and though we are unclear how things got so messed up, can you help us fix it?

Why be so hard-nosed about simple situations? People will deal with you if you treat them with the respect and dignity in which you wish for in return. That’s called adult relationships aka good business relations. This is coming from the gal low on the totem pole (3 years working here) who is reacting to an office manager thirty years on the job. Hmmmmm……

Who'd You Wake Up With This Morning?

This works every time without fail!

You get out of bed and stumble through the morning routine of getting a shower, finding breakfast, downing coffee, taking out the trash, kissing the family goodbye...etc.....and on the morning commute you still aren't quite awake. You feel like you need about three more hours of sleep and are already an hour late for whatever waits for you on your desk in the office. I know I am not the only one in the the morning who feels like this. All of you so called "morning people" are on speed or some other form of false empowerment. If you are working atleast 50 hours a week, springing out of bed to take on the world is not your first thought when you roll over to hit the snooze button the first time.

I own the Bruce Springsteen Greatest Hits Album and pop it in every morning on that commute when I need that extra inspiration to get me moving and improve the attitude. It starts out with the tune "Born To Run". Can you top that? Didn't think so. The hurried drums and bass guitar surging almost like a pace for your heart beat to match. You can't help but absorb some of the magic Bruce injected in these lyrics by the time you get to the refraim you are singing along with it. You get into the rythmn as he plows through some more verses and you find you are finally awake.

The sun peaks over the horizon and you realize Bruce came through for you again. Rest of the commute is easy coasting. Hopefully you'll be able to ride this wave through most of the morning.

Honorable mention: Glory Days, Thunder Road, Bad Lands, Dancing in the Dark

They'll all do the job!

Star and Barbara Throw Down!!

Celebrity Death Match 2006! I love Hollywood pettiness. It makes me feel so well adjusted. Star is upset about bing fired and Babs is pissed about being made out as the bad guy. The only thing is, nobody likes Star Jones. She's obnoxious. Really the only reason they kept her around is to fill in the diversity quota and pick up a demographic. Problem...your own demographic finds you "out of touch and unrelatable". Babs has been around the block. Good luck taking on this savy juggernot of the media circus. Rumur has it she has henchmen....alls I'm saying.

Celebrity People Skills or Lack There Of

Below are a few fine examples of why celebs hire mouth pieces. A friend of mine told me at lunch that water always settles at the level it belongs. Perhaps you can put a person in Hollywood but you can totally transform them into amazing frescos...eventually the cracks will show. Besides the fact that we all know Naomi has been insane for years, I couldn't help but watch that Britney interview. It was like watching a car accident, you can not not look. She is the epitomy of the blackhole of celebritydome and I bet her PR guy is earning his money. I'm just curious how far she will sink and if it is possible for her to ever get out of this downward spiral.


Another Maid Sues Naomi Campbell (The Phone Thrower!)
http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=226202&GT1=7701

Axel Rose Bites a Security Guard
http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=226220

Britney's Redneck Interview..."We're Just Country, Y'all"
http://www.slate.com/id/2144188/

Save Screech

http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=225647&GT1=7703

You knew him as the annoying sidekick Samuel "Screech" Powers to the 80's hearthrob Zac Morris on "Saved By The Bell." Now he's being evicted. This is just an article I came by the other day and wondered how many 80's child stars are in the same plight. They star for years in a highly lucrative franchise and then get dropped when agents decide they no longer have that sexy or or in this case dorky appeal. This is when they learn the fated hollywood lesson that you need to read your contract before you sign it. They still run "Saved By The Bell" like ten times a day on TBS...I know this from my mono days. Screech got screwed over.l

St Johns: a city that is in no way like the island

I was in St. Johns on business and thought I would wander around and find my Aunt who was allegedly getting married there today. Never ran into her or her fiancé which surprised me because the population of that city is like 50 people…alright, alright, it just seems that way.

Of course she is down in the Caribbean. Good thing too. Though I have nothing against John Deere, I don’t think riding off into the sunset on an old tractor with a “Just Married” sign would be her scene. Give me an island in the sun any day! Hope they enjoy the vacation abroad.

Congradulations Jeannette and Greg!

George Sticks His Foot In His Mouth

President Bush: Peter. Are you going to ask that question with shades on?

Peter Wallsten of the Los Angeles Times: I can take them off.

Bush: I'm interested in the shade look, seriously.

Wallsten: All right, I'll keep it, then.

Bush: For the viewers, there's no sun.

Wallsten: I guess it depends on your perspective.

Bush: Touché.

—Exchange with legally blind reporter Peter Wallsten, to whom Bush later apologized, Washington, D.C., June 14, 2006

Oh well!

My dreams of being a professional Paper, Rock, Scissors Champ went up in smoke today while I was practicing with the neighbor kids in the stairwell. The agony of defeat was realized when I went zero for five.

Instead of going home to cry (which I did later) I dazzled them by whistling a tune. They can’t whistle and I refused to show them because I figure they could learn to be a little more humble.

Is this worth reporting?

Click the title.

Paper, Rock, Scissors is not just for the playground any more.

This is either the most colossal waste of time or an awsome game. It reminds me of trick bowling but it requires no skill and an aptitude for probability. These people take it seriously...see the below quotes from this article.

'Bissett, 21, used some unorthodox techniques on his way to earning the title. In the semifinals, he threw a triple-paper, confusing his opponent. A throw of rock in the finals earned him the title and the trip.'

'"His rock’s getting solid, we’re working on his scissors," Bentley said.'

The best part is this guy got served by a six year old girl. Burn! Oh this makes me laugh.



P.S. Mom, I decided what I want to do with my life.

25 Ain't No Jive!

Today is my younger brother’s birthday. I have to say “younger” instead of “little” obviously, as you can see…I got nothing! Such is life! He turns the big 25 today.

Back in MI

Ah Idaho...I shall miss you. While you all were dealing with record high temperatures, here is a sample of where I was. Yes, that is in fact snow! Pretty awesome!

The Great Outdoors

Hey all! Not much time to write. Heading up into the mountains for camping, hiking, fishing, ......running from bears.........Anyway, here are a few pics from yesterday's adventures through Boise!

To Idaho I Go!

"Esto Perpetua" means "It is perpetual." That is the motto of this state I am going to visit over Memorial Day weekend. Does that mean the state never changes or is this a reference to it's people? Hmmmm... yeah, a loaded question, but before I go deep I compiled some fun facts. Perhaps you will learn something.

Potatoes! I am a fan and read the labels of the food I eat. I found a link to a website that just concentrates on famous Idaho Potato recipes. Pretty sweet or rather starchy!

(okay bad joke...moving on)

Idaho also boasts high yields of trout, Austria Winter Peas and Lentils. Love the trout, hate the peas, and lentils? well, my mom likes 'em so that's 2 out of 3.

Idaho is the 13th largest state with a river system that travels 3,100 miles (more than any other state). This of course means that fly fishing and hunting is really big....I am picturing the movie "A River Runs Through It" right now. Though that movie takes place in Montana and Brad Pitt does not actually live there, putting him in the mental image doesn't hurt though.

The Land: This is from the state website that says it better than I could.

"The panhandle is emerald green hillsides, timbered mountains and sprinkled with lakes of all sizes. Central Idaho is covered with jagged peaks. The Snake River Plain, with its wide open vistas, irrigated farm lands and vibrant cities forms the character of Southern Idaho.
Idaho’s history lies with its native tribes, the Lewis and Clark Expedition and determined pioneers on the Oregon Trail."

Abundant outdoor recreation opportunities attract over 20 million tourists annually. Idaho is the home of Sun Valley, created in 1936, and America's first ski resort!

Idaho is know as "the gem state" for it's 72 precious and semi-precious gem stones which can be found no where else in the world.

Below are some facts I've never come accross before when hearing about a state.

The State Horse: Appaloosa ......it's a type of horse, not a concert!

The State Dance: Square Dance

....dosey-do ......
and swing your partner round the rest, head back home and promanade left..........

yes in another life I was a dance caller, alls I'm saying.]

The News:

The governor and the department of natural resources is currently suing the Federal Government for the EPA's program of releasing grizzly bears into central Idaho. This is an effort by the Federal Government to protect and increase a population that is on the endagered species list, but the state is less than thrill to comply. I plan on camping while I am out there but I'm not worries since my brother-in-law is a gun enthisuast. No offense EPA!

Well that's all for now. Hope you learned something.

The Idaho State Song....who knew!

Here we Have Idaho

Official State Song by Enactment of Twenty-first Session of Idaho Legislature
Verses by Albert J.Tompkins

Chorus by McKinley Helm

Music by Sallie Hume-Douglas'

Arranged by Craig Chernos

Download this song in Mp3 format

You’ve heard of the wonders our land does possess,

Its beautiful valleys and hills.

The majestic forests where nature abounds,

We love every nook and rill

Chorus:
And here we have Idaho,

Winning her way to fame.

Silver and gold in the sunlight blaze,

And romance lies in her name.

Singing, we’re singing of you,

Ah, proudly too. All our lives thru,

We’ll go singing, singing of you,

Singing of Idaho.

There’s truly one state in this great land of ours,

Where ideals can be realized.

The pioneers made it so for you and me,

A legacy we’ll always prize.

Chorus:
And here we have Idaho,

Winning her way to fame.

Silver and gold in the sunlight blaze,

And romance lies in her name.

Singing, we’re singing of you,

Ah, proudly too. All our lives thru,

We’ll go singing, singing of you,

Singing of Idaho.

http://gov.idaho.gov/fyi/song/index.htm

Where Would We Be Without Our Moms?

Yes, that is a loaded question. I can only speak for myself since I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting these women who have sat at home waiting on the second weekend in May every year for you to call and congratulate them on bringing you into the world and surviving you for an “x” number of years. While Mother’s Day is a good excuse to go for a buffet dinner or give her the overly glittered picture frame you made in your third grade art class, the reason President Woodrow Wilson designated the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day in 1914 was to recognize these women and be sure not to let them be taken for granted.

Years ago on a Mother’s Day, I was awake early watching my mom eat the pancakes we made, even though they tasted funny because at our age we didn’t determine that there is a difference between baking soda and baking powder. She told us that Mother’s Day mattered little to her because she already knew we loved her and we didn’t need to go to such measures and get her gifts. Therefore in her explanation, everyday was Mother’s Day. I’m sure it was meant, but realistically I think it was partially intended to keep my brother out of the baking cabinet for a few more years until he could read recipes properly! Anyway, I imagined that in her ideal world where every day was Mother’s Day, her four children all under the age of five would always behave like little angels. Therefore Mother’s Day must be a solid attempt by the rest of the family to give our mom a glimpse of that unlikely Utopia.

Have you ever read the children’s book “Are you My Mother?” written by P.D. Eastman? It’s about a young bird that hatches while his mother is out looking for food. He falls out of the nest and goes on a journey meeting many diverse characters to whom he poses the question “are you my mother?” Eventually he finds his way home, where his life finally makes sense and falls asleep under his mother’s wing. It is a story of belonging and recognizes the special bond that can only exist between a parent and a child. As we grow and discover our identity it is innate that we first turn to our parents for acceptance. They are the ‘I love you no matter what’ constants by whom we are able to find our footing especially during the tough times.

At times I swore I was adopted or my mom came from another universe. Even as a grown woman I sometimes find we don’t speak the same language but behind any misunderstanding or disagreement is always good intention. I try not to limit my appreciation to a single day. I also keep in mind what my mom gave up in order to raise my brothers, sister and I, and that I never once heard her speak of regret or complain about her choices. During my upbringing, every day wasn’t a page out of the “Walton’s” or "Ozzie and Harriet" land, but I was always loved and cared for. And though my mother was never officially awarded “Mom of the Year” she always has been in my book.

To the most beautiful woman in the world! Happy Mother's Day!

Below are a few quotes that I love. Feel free to use them on your Mother’s Day card! I plan to!

Home is where your mom is!

A mother understands what a child does not say. –a Jewish proverb

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother. –Abraham Lincoln

It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. –Barbara Kingsolver

Anyone who doesn't miss the past never had a mother.

Richer than Gold

You may have fortunes untold
Mountains of riches and coffers of gold
Richer than I you will never be
I had a mother who read to me

Art's...Need I Say More?

Art’s Bar is a friendly establishment in downtown off of Kalamazoo I frequent occassionally with the usual suspects (you know who you are). Only true Lansing enthusiasts frequent it for good reason, no one takes themselves too seriously there and hence the laid back attitude has survived for over fifty years. I personally enjoy the motto that has been synonymous with Art’s since it’s establishment in 1948, “Hey it’s Art’s, Lighten Up.” Art’s has a pretense of being a blue collar dive where the beer is watered down and the food is as greasy as it is good for you. This however is just to keep the frat boy, college age, party goers away. We like to keep things down to a dull roar and only let the pure sports fan or heavy drinker thru the door. This is where the fun begins. Imagine MSU stadium and Cheers rolled into one for those of you still reaching for a clear picture.

First you will meet Bill, the barkeep. He has plenty of spirits behind him but gives you an annoyed expression when you order anything but what’s on draft. We tested his patience on Saturday night by daring to order a “Dirty Girl Scout”. Much to our dismay, Bill didn’t have the ingredients but did proceed to make us a few whiskey shots that were delicious. Because we were so nice and probably a bit too friendly, he only charged us for one round…we had four shots a piece by then!

There are a gob of friendly waitresses who work pretty hard for decent tips. I was there a few weeks ago when our waitress did a shot with our table and then proceeded to play a round of “Quarters” before getting back to handle her other tables. Maybe some of the waitresses act like Coyote Ugly casting rejects but either way it was cool.

Now I come to Art’s most famous asset, Phil, the Sinatra “impersonator”. I use that term loosely but what Phil lacks in talent he makes up for in volume! I met Phil a few months ago and he remembers me by name because we had a lengthy discussion up at the jukebox about the Rat Pack. He is a grey haired, tired looking man, but don’t let his Harry Potter glasses that cover a good third of his face fool you, once the music starts he comes to life, much to the chagrin of the whole bar. Last time I was there Phil was breaking a twenty at the bar so he could fill the song set up with Sinatra’s Greatest Hits CD…and he did it too, the whole CD. “It’s up to you, New York, New Yoooooork!”

And finally I must mention shuffle board. What is even more awesome is that it is free. With a shooper (a huge goblet) of beer in one hand and your puck in the other it is fun to give it a try. It is great when you discover you aren’t half bad at it. It is easy to be overcome with a competitive spirit while playing. I have been witness to some pretty intense games but its harmless because usual the stake are only as high as who is paying for the next round of shoopers.

I would quote Toby Keith’s “I Love This Bar” but you are more likely to hear the Stones or something recorded before 1985 than anything recent. Art’s wood paneling, rickety dart boards and falling ceiling projector may not impress many, but what Art’s lacks in refinement and class is definitely made up for with its unique character.